Were this a snarky music blog with more attitude than substance, a simple "You said it, not us" would be all the review necessary of The New Pathetic.

On their debut album, German punk-metal outfit Today Forever proffer a limp mishmash of screamo vocals, post-hardcore unison riffing, and various other current styles, all jumbled together with no sense of musical cohesion.

Skipping from the whiny emo of the title track and "The Trigger Pulled" to the faceless indie rock of "Champagne for the Chambermaid," to the plodding thrash of "Adventures or Nothing," The New Pathetic sounds like the work of a band who can't decide just which bandwagon they most want to jump.

As a result, they don't perform particularly well in any of their chosen styles, and they seem utterly incapable of blending their wide set of influences into anything new or unique.

Even the fact that Today Forever manage to pack all 14 songs' worth of this musical indecision into less than 30 minutes doesn't really help the album, because the short, stilted songs sound like the band is speeding through a selection of unfinished fragments.

There is very little to recommend here.